Bad news fading

It's not as if there's no bad news out there.
It's not as if i've forgotten my project here.

It is as if the old medium at strategic locations has become a bit more obsolete in the findings of a new summer lifestyle. Or, more plainly, I'm not spending time in the 5th floor library at Ottawa U.

Many thoughts I'm having; I'm really enjoying the eclectic directions and unguided, fleeting madness that comes with unfocused life education. Some things are so funny, some things are so beautiful. I was walking home after baseball today and wanted to call Seamus to ask him to an art thing tonight but I didn't have a cell phone or quarter. So I turn to the folks in the street approaching my direction and ask if they had a spare quarter for a call but by the time I got out the word quarter I hear nosorry out of their mouths faster than by the time I was done my sentence. After a few tries and similar encounters I said aloud ok, well i may as well go home because nobody here believes you have one. hyok!

I just had to call my stepmom to wish her a happy mothers day and also ended up chatting with my aunt, nana, and dad. I had to tell each one of them one by one how I'm unemployed, why that is, how school went, what I was up to today, and so forth. The first matter really brought me down, because I could hear how they were worried, and frankly so am I.

I decided over a salad and nachos it was obvious that if I only ate salad how could I possibly convince myself to steal my friends cigarettes. Nobody can make that transition from salad to cigarettes. So I decided to puff a last puff of someone elses and go a good 90 days sans tobbac, save for the times its in you know what.

I'm sick and refusing to act like it longer than a few token hours of complaining when it seems appropriate to whatever circumstance.

Sometimes I walk into my room and feel that the messy history astrew in the tiny compartment is entirely unrecognizable. How long had I been gone? When was the last time I was really here? What have I been up to?

Bad news pro-lifers: By opposing abortion you are implicitly opposing those birthed under the circumstances produced by abortion-policy. haaaaaa.

Bad news chelsea: richer people in the neighbourhood have started dumping their richer garbage in with my lot. I found a stroller and a weed whacker in the pile of garbage outside my house, and picked it up and threw it in the street away from my house (in the direction of the richer houses with black electric fences keeping out the vices). The nerve of trying to blend in their wealthier garbage with mine! I had no baby. I have no lawn; no use for a weedwhacker.

What I am being promised and what I am being given are at odds. I remember a noble fiction crafted loosely throughout childhood that we were all equal and free to express ourselves exactly as we see fit. But when exactly can we do that? Not when we're applying for jobs. Not in the workplace. Not in inappropriate social circumstances. Not in the bedsheets with the human you are grasping at for meaning. [with]

Not to say I'm not trying to be revolutionary. I'm saying its what inhibits me from singing a bitty as I stroll. It's hard isnt it?

Enough bad news.
I'm in a funk tonight. It feels good because I needed it this way. Time to go talk good news.